Sigh

When I wake up in the morning I feel like I have not slept at all.

This has been going on for about a year now.

Sigh

DJ has been telling me that he watches me sleep at night.

Nothing creepy.

That would be better I think.

He tells me that I will be asleep..and I will take a big breath...

and then stop breathing for a looong time.

Like a few minutes.

Now...if you ask me to hold my breath in front of you right now, it would not be long at all.

Only like 30 seconds..if that.

Sleep apnea bitches.

Shit.

No wonder I have been living in a fog for so long.

No smoking for me

No drinking for me

Nothing to make this happen anymore.

Me no gusta.

Dr.'s are not happy

I am scared shitless.

I still do it all night.

It has something to do with my brain, it is that one...

nice

oh well...

I am sure that I will be fine.

It is nice to know what is wrong with me though.

I feel bad about freaking out my husband.

It is not like I am doing it on purpose.

And...I am just too depressed.

sigh

I am determinded to be problem free someday soon.

I miss being myself.